Reality TV made me into a better human being. I think.
What reality TV taught me about relationships.
“…being in the shoes of a relationship god felt good.”
This summer, I've been watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hill, season 1 to 5.
I should be ashamed but I’m not. Hanging out with these housewives has been a relief to come back home to. After a day of parenthood problem-solving, being in the shoes of a relationship god felt good.
I used to be snobbish about reality TV. In my teens, I had a literature teacher who made our class into a platform against reality TV. It represented the end of culture as I knew it and the bottom pile of audiovisual arts, until now.
This show follows wealthy people living their lives in the extraordinary context of Beverly Hills. When conflicts erupt, the cast members choose a side, depending on their allegiances, morals or both. Conflict resolution becomes anything but objective but I believe I am. That's what makes these shows so compelling: I possess the keys to resolve their problems and they don't. It's like playing a video game knowing all the cheat-codes and not using them. Reality TV can teach us a few things.
People with good intentions create conflict as much as anyone else, especially when confronting unreasonable, in-denial individuals (I’m looking at you Kim Richards). Prior to the Housewives, I would try to heal relationships between members in my family. It backfired every single time, damaging my own relationships in the process. Since watching the show, my rule of thumb is to avoid conflict at all costs. And so far, so good.
Here’s a typical relationship dilemma that reality TV can help you solve. Tony wants to make out with his friend's ex-girlfriend. Should he:
1. Tell his friend before making a move.
2. Kiss the girl and tell his friend before anyone does?
3. Just go for it.
A show like Too Hot To Handle will play out the worst and most tempting scenarios and break down their consequences for us to watch, enjoy and learn from.
“These shows are like CPR training courses for relationships.”
I've seen situations I hope I will never witness in real life. That said, I did experience a few of them and wish I had seen them in the show beforehand. Watching the housewives is like CPR training courses for relationships.
The cast of these shows provide a public service by making mistakes spectacularly obvious, keeping us from making them ourselves.
When contestants are fired, their recently-met friends cry like Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar. That's a lifetime's worth of raw experiences for them and timeless wisdom for us all.
PJ
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